loving air conditioning
23/08/2003 // 11:43 am
i know i'm not supposed to care, really. but i'm sort of pissed off that my brother just took off with our car last night right before i was about to take it. i have the weekend off and i was supposed to go on a two day river run. because i've never done that before. and because it sounds like fun in a very hickish kind of way. and lastly, because if i didn't go i'd be stuck in town alone all weekend with no parents and no friends and i don't want to miss anything fun and boo hoo hoo.
i had a weird dream this morning between phone calls. it was sort of fun. sort of sexy. sort of evan-y. i really need to leave the steve. this whole boy + alcohol = trouble situation is bad news. and it makes me awful. but good. but awful.
michael might call me today. i haven't talked to him in weeks. i don't know what i'm going to say to him. maybe he'll realize on his own, soon, that geography is never going to work in our favour. he must know it now, in his head. clinging to memories isn't fun anymore.
time to download massive amounts of entertainment to fill my weekend void.
pillar
22/08/2003 // 12:22 am
for about a month now i've been terrorizing an old lady.
there's a house about two blocks away with pillars at the end of the driveway. they're new, and supposed to be all fancy like. but they're very very crooked. and, instead of having proper wiring for lamps, the old lady has (had) sticky taped fake plastic candle lanterns most likely purchased from the dollar store to her pillars.
so what have i been doing? removing the sticky taped lanterns and placing them about her lawn. about three times a week. sometimes i leave her notes: i am crooked. please fix me. - pillar at the end of your driveway. sometimes the notes are more threatening: if you do not fix me i will fall. which sounds like an ultimatum, but is really only physics.
poor old lady. last night i was really really out of it. for example, i went to jump on evan's back. he ducked. i flew over him. should have landed on my face on gravelly pavement and cried like a baby. somehow rolled out of it and received only a few elbow scratches. only a person who's consumed too much alcohol would get away with such luck. so, last night evan and i took her lanterns again and hid them up in the tree in her yard. not too too high up. how mean....
i guess one of the crappy candle lanterns must have fallen out because earlier tonight evan said he saw one pillar adorned with its beacon while the old lady was searching yards close to his apartment. two blocks away on the other side. he felt bad, sort of, that she'd go to that much trouble to find a crappy piece of plastic. when i was walking home there were neither sticky tape pieces nor lanterns on her pillars... but... one of the lanterns was still in the tree where we left it. right in her own front yard. so so so easy to see and find and reach. i put it back on one of the pillars for her.
i can't imagine she likes our game much. i also can't imagine who would do such a thing to an old lady. stupid punks. it would be unacceptable if i were in high school. middle school. an idiot. but we're fairly well educated adults and we spend our time terrorizing the neighbors, pulling stop signs out of the ground and or bending signs.
i am so proud of me.
i watched l.a. confidential tonight. russell crow is unhot. cold, even.
ct scan
20/08/2003 // 6:53 pm
i put a cheque in the mail today. to pay a damage deposit. for a room. in a house. that i chose fairly randomly. off u of cow's off campus housing page. i didn't really understand the man when i was talking to him on the phone. i'll be living with two white sisters. and possibly another person. it's an all girl house? i really don't care at this point. i leave two weeks from today.
i had a cat scan this morning. i feel so gross right now. never again. orange flavored barium sulfate is not my drink of choice.
i think i might go on a canoe run this weekend. with 'the boys'. how hick-ish is that? i'm kind of excited!
i haven't talked to mike in a week and a half. he doesn't have a phone. or he does. he just doesn't have a dial tone. but he has voice mail.
what does it mean when a boy asks you if you've ever gotten yourself into a situation you didn't want to be in? cause he is? presumably. but that it's always okay to call him. even if it's only 'cause i'm bored out of my mind.
i think i'll do that tonight, actually.
oh. my parents bought a new car today. it's big and ugly. suv style. but worse. huge hatchback on wheels style. and blue.
oh, and i'm officially being sued now. i have a big shot lawyer and everything.
i think i want a notepad. my computer probably won't start when i get it back from storage.
i hope the place i'm going to live doesn't suck too much ass. yo.
freon
19/08/2003 // 10:36 am
yesterday the building i work in had to be closed because of a problem with the air conditioner. i just got a call and they aren't opening it today.
there was a gas leak. a freon leak. a cfc leak. it smelled like old lady perfume roses and made everyone feel light headed and dizzy. but freon is odorless. nontoxic. people friendly. so i don't really get the old lady perfume smell.
i have a catscan tomorrow. i picked up my orange flavoured barium sulfate last week and get to drink two bottles of it within the next 24 hours. i'm not really looking forward to chalk consumption.
i'm going to spend the day outside. maybe i'll be able to get a little more un-pale.
-
14/08/2003 // 8:32 pm
working for my mom for two days was tiring and unfun. much harder than handing out maps.
last night i went to the pub. we did shots. one tasted like cookies, another looked pretty, one curdled in my mouth, one had tabasco sauce in it, and the last one was cool and minty. i hadn't planned on drinking at all. i also (poorly) skipped rocks in the river off the boat landing last night. and took the long way home. with evan. i coordinated plans for deck parties at his place this weekend. friday is rum and coke night. saturday is blender drinks night. i work all weekend too. it should be fun.
the power is out all over the eastern seaboard right now. i'm east, i have power. i wonder what the boy is going to do about supper. sandwiches or something. i thought maybe he'd call tonight, if he has a phone line yet. but no power means no phone regardless of whether or not the line is in or not. i'm starting to think he doesn't really want to talk to me anyway. my spending time with evan is becoming a problem. he doesn't say much, but sighs a lot. he questions why i go out and allow boys to provide me with alcohol. my motives and theirs. he doesn't get how things are in the steve. he doesn't understand that i'm only doing what i feel i have to do. to survive. here.
i saw nick and his boy the other day, at work. nick provided me with my new mantra: what happens in the steve stays in the steve. and i have nothing further to add.
hotgod
11/08/2003 // 6:26 pm
i was once again impressed by the steve's fireworks.
it started to rain right before they began. right on time. the plan was to leave when they were supposed to begin to arrive when they actually would begin. except they began on time. so evan and i frolicked down town to meet up with the other people who were actually willing to watch the fireworks. everyone else stayed at the apartment and ate steak.
you know a guy likes you when he frolicks to fireworks he doesn't want to see. but he's not being pushy anymore. so it's all good. i think the 'fuck off evan' lecture sunk in.
after the fireworks a church had a table set up on the sidewalk of one of the main streets in the steve. they were handing out free hotdogs. they were representing a church. i slowed down to read their sign (required concentration due to slight degree of stonedness which was required to make the fireworks good) and one of them grabbed my arm and told me to take the hotdog. cause they were free. and it scared me a little because i wasn't expecting. i told the lady i don't eat hotdogs and she didn't seem to think that was a good enough excuse for not accepting free food. insistant church goer she was, i was required to say, " i don't want your god-dog." begin conversation about god being dog spelled backwards and laughment about my entrapment.
i have to go to work now-ish. the other work. the one where i don't need to think about what i'm doing, except for to count back people's change - not hard. working a second job, at my mom's store is going to suck. i need to learn how to say no.